Published on May 1, 2024 
We recently interviewed two of our New York sales leaders to delve into their team’s advocacy for autism and breast cancer awareness. Our discussion illuminated their personal connections, particularly with children on the autism spectrum. Through heartfelt conversations with clients, they unearthed a collective dedication to raising awareness and nurturing empathy. Their efforts transcend mere acknowledgment, delving into legal intricacies and championing workplace inclusivity.
The below has been edited for length and clarity.
Todd: Vinny and I have different experiences with both, they have affected our clients in various ways, and we found ourselves having more conversations about them. We always kicked around the idea of doing something better than what we’ve been able to do ourselves. The company has a Day of Giving, and we said, what if we could take that day and expand it to support clients. It made sense that we could make the most of an impact and combine everything now.
Vincent: Not at all. The team in New York and others in the company know it hits close to home with me because my oldest and youngest are both on the spectrum. For those who don’t have kids or know families with kids on the spectrum, what I’m about to say is often met with disbelief. I’m more fortunate than some who are in similar circumstances. While my kids will never be able to live on their own or have their own families, through years of therapy (speech, physical, behavioral, and occupational), we are able to have some level of interaction with them. So, when we were speaking with our clients, we started seeing this topic emerge, and in turn, other commonalities we had outside of our normal business discussions.
We thought, why don’t we connect with our clients directly to raise awareness? We’re hearing that it’s also affecting them, whether it’s them directly, their siblings, a niece or a nephew, or somebody close to home in their community. You start having these conversations that have absolutely nothing to do with why we met in the first place, and you begin to connect and humanize. It takes the conversation deeper and connects more with your clients. At that moment, there’s camaraderie and kinship because you’re both going through this. Finding people and connecting with them makes a difference in all our lives.
Todd: It affects everybody differently, whether your children have autism, or they’re being evaluated, or maybe they interact with another child that does. It’s an entirely different experience for each person or family. Luckily, Vinny was my sounding board. when my son was in the process of being evaluated. I had no real clue what would come next because there’s still that fear from 50 years ago of being stigmatized. It’s completely changed. The process has changed. The experts have changed. The knowledge base has changed. When you see it from a 50,000-foot view and have someone like Vinny, who’s more than open to sharing his experience, that eases people’s anxiety about going through something like this.
It’s completely different today than even ten years ago. If somebody can spend five minutes talking with us about it, and it eases their angst – that’s worth it.
Vincent: Absolutely. I remember what it was like when I was a kid when you’d go to school, and kids with special needs were segregated from everyone else. They didn’t sit with anyone. While not as prevalent, it is still an issue today. During both my children’s time in school, they’ve had minimal integration with general ed classes so that they can see how neurotypical kids behave, as opposed to always being around kids who are in their same situation. As my son is older, he has been in programs through school that bring them into the community.
Overall, the services and support have improved. Twenty or twenty-five years ago, you would never want to put a person inside any state-run facility. Now, New York actually has one of the best, if not the best, services for individuals with special needs in the country.
Todd: It’s weird because as we’re saying how it’s evolved; it hasn’t evolved when you hear specialists say things like it’s the most integrated or least segregated. We’re talking about segregation in 2014 when our family went through it. You’re like, did you say least and most segregated and integrated – what is happening? Ultimately, after enduring this process, we learned the experts got it wrong. Yet all these years later, the process still haunts us. It created doubt; unshakable doubt. And that’s a stigma that the parents go through as well.
Vincent: Sitting in restaurants, I remember when we lived in Queens, there was an Unos restaurant near us. They knew our situation, and we would sit in the back corner. They always put us there and understood the situation to protect our children and let them enjoy the same experiences that other kids their age get. As a parent of an autistic child, you ensure your child understands, as much as they can, that they’re fine. They’re not doing anything that’s causing potential problems with others who aren’t used to interacting with an autistic person. These are things you deal with mentally day to day to protect your kid.
Todd: You mentioned the child’s understanding, but then we’re talking to adults and to parents about how the other adults don’t understand. These are grown people who can’t identify a situation they should approach differently. So, the parent has to now take into consideration what the social view is, what the family connection is, what the situation is demanding of them, and how to diffuse it. Now, you have to juggle all those different aspects within seconds. It’s like being a professional quarterback. You have all of these different reads within seconds, just to ensure everybody can go about their day. That’s something you have to learn. They don’t teach that to you. They don’t warn you about it.
So, it’s more than just autism awareness. It’s more than two words put together. It’s more about whether anyone could gain anything from these experiences. Mine were minimal compared to Vinny’s, yet I’m still learning. And when we have other clients learning and say to us, I never thought of it that way or knew I could handle it that way. Maybe that different viewpoint helps get them through.
Vincent: Yes, there’s an isolation. I’ll be completely candid. We have family members who, at times, can’t deal with our situation. So, it often just me, my wife, and our three kids for everything. I’m sure there are other families who are going through the same thing. There’s that isolation, the protectiveness, and for some, they see it as a stigma.
Unfortunately, too many people suffer in silence, and they shouldn’t for any of it. It used to be something that you were shunned for, and it’s not that way anymore. Possibly because it’s so prevalent that we’re now open to talking about it more. When my son was diagnosed, I think at the time, it was one in every 110 kids. Now I think it’s like one in every 48 because it is a vast spectrum we now recognize.
Vincent: I could tell you from a legal perspective what I didn’t know until my son approached 18. If you have a child with autism who is identified as not able to reach a certain mental capacity and make their own decisions or take care of themselves, when they become 18, the parent has to start the guardianship process. I’m fortunate enough to have been in the legal community for over 30 years, so I know people who can help me with these issues. However, maybe the awareness is something that the legal community can get behind more.
There are other causes and different organizations out there, but I think there’s a fundamental lack of education for parents regarding what to do next. There’s a lot to navigate; educational resources are often pieced together, and nothing I found is complete.
Todd: If we’re having this experience, I’m going to assume many others are and may still be afraid to speak up because of that stigmatism. Companies should understand and recognize employees may have different priorities at home. We need to change the work balance so that employees still perform as needed but understand there are other situations that can’t be planned for, like we can for soccer or baseball. That’s how leadership and HR can help. For example, it’s okay when Vinny can’t go to a legal event. Or you put on a different event that embraces the need, like sensory-friendly experiences.
Vincent: April is autism awareness month, so “Light it up Blue” supports autism. And I’m so grateful to have the support, whether it’s the entire sales team wearing blue or being able to be there for a client to talk through their own experiences. It’s not just about one month or one year. It’s about being there every day for each other.
